Word choice

One of the greatest gifts we can give to one another is the gift of presence. Notice I did not state the gift of presents. Two words, two very different meanings with very different outcomes. I find it amazing how a simple change of words can have a profound effect on our way of looking at any given situation. The English language has such capacity for the meaningful exchange of ideas and thoughts, and yet too often we transcend into over simplistic or ambiguous words that leave the topic at hand in doubt and those we are exchanging ideas with in a state of confusion or inconclusion.

Just consider the exchange of the word “presents” with “presence.” What a different experience to have someone give us their undivided attention, and to be fully in the moment with us. I would take that any day over an object that comes with a receipt.

This exercise of word substitution is one that I use often in my presentations on resiliency, as so much of our journey through adversity is based on our internal narrative. This internal narrative is vital as it is the only thing we can truly control at any given moment. We cannot control other people’s behavior.

We cannot control many of the outcomes we experience, but we can and should control our response. The primary way in which we control our response is to control our internal narrative. We can do this through the words we use both to ourselves and then with others to assist them in their journey.

Another similar word substitution can happen when we feel we are burdened by the things we have to do on any given day. It is very easy to get caught up in our own pity party, where we take on the role of a victim of those things that, in actuality, are a hidden gift waiting to be enjoyed rather than a burden to bear. When asked what we are doing this weekend, we can say, “I have to go visit my parents,” or we can say, “I get to visit my parents.” Suddenly an activity based in obligation became an activity based in gratitude, as there are so many who wish they still had their parents to visit. I enjoy using this methodology with my soldiers, when we are getting ready for physical training. They may approach it as, “We have to run,” when in fact it should be embraced as, “We get to run.” Either way, we are running, so you might as well approach it with a positive mindset.

How often do we do the same in our daily lives? We embark upon so many daily and mundane activities with the narrative of “I have to,” and in doing so, completely miss the opportunity that awaits us. Consider what a different day you may have if you embark upon it with a sense of gratitude, and give each day a chance to be the best one yet. On those days that didn’t go the way you thought it should, ask yourself; Did I have a bad day, or did my day have a bad me? While there are many aspects of our days that are out of our control, the most important and impactful aspect is fully within our control, and that is our response and reactions.